Too much to do, too much to say

One big problem I have right now is that I keep wanting to do too much too fast.  I want to plant fruit trees and bushes at my house right now, today, because I know they will take years to come in well enough to start providing for us.  Money for them?  Time to care for them?  Who knows.

I want to plant a large shade tree in the front yard because I want there to be shade on the house and it needs to be done now, because I want the shade now, but most of all, I want the shade in the near future when I can’t afford to use the A/C at my house for the week or two we use it.  The longer I wait to plant the longer it will take to come in.

I want to have a huge garden space now because I want to provide as much of my own food as I can, but gardens are a lot of work when you are first building them.  And I have to mesh aesthetics with functionality to keep from even more scornful looks from my neighbors (and very understanding wife).  Not to getting enough material to generate enough compost.  And it seems like I can never get enough space.  There is plenty of area available on my little lot, I just need to use it better or something. 

I want to build fruit guilds around the few trees I am planting, but when?

For some reason I feel this sense of urgency because I want to do all these things now, but I don’t know where that is coming from.  I need to understand that nature takes time.  My impatience is nothing to nature.  I have to pick out something that I want to focus on each year and get better at that.  I can’t try to do too much or I’ll feel overwhelmed, which is how I feel a lot of the time.

But if I do that then what do I do about other stuff?  There is so much I want to do that I can’t put some of it off indefinitely.  I have to plant trees so that they will start producing in the next 5 years or so, but how much effort will I waste keeping them alive if I don’t build guilds around them for a few years? You know what I mean?  I hate wasting time and effort.  It’s not in my nature.  But then I know that I can’t focus on the guilds and neglect the gardens, because those take more of your immediate time, and will produce more now, and are critical to learning for the future.  And I have to do all this before the weather gets hot because then I wilt and I won’t be able to work outside for the better part of 8 or 9 hours like I did on Saturday.

And there are a couple chunks of city owned land a house down that would be perfect for a little in town orchard.  But how could I possibly add that to my already full plate?  Not to mention in the next few years my kids will be getting involved in some activities.  And I still have to mow the stupid lawn.  God I hate grass.

We try to live a slow life, but lately it sure doesn’t seem like it’s slow.  I’m not sure how I’m supposed to get it all done.  Gaa!!

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4 responses to “Too much to do, too much to say

  1. I didn’t know you felt this way. 😦 I thought you liked having this much to do. If you are feeling overwhelmed, then you need to focus on what you have and not what you want. And just keep growing on this every year. Gardening/yard work should be fun and not a chore for you. That is why you do it and why you like it. So, don’t take on anymore and have fun with what you have.

  2. I think some of the urge to do too much is probably all the bad news we hear. It gets easy to feel like everything has to be ready now. Plus, spring is just like that.

    I still have fruit trees without plant guilds under them – mostly I just stuff comfrey or clover there until I get around to doing something else.

    Sharon

  3. I definitely understand the sentiment. The amount of food I know we need to grow is far from matching what we have growing. There aren’t enough hours in the day to work and get all the necessary gardens planted (and there’s that darn grass…)

    For me, there’s the added concern that we plan (hope) to move in the very near future, so I don’t want to do things that will take away too much home value. If we weren’t looking at resale I would be a bit less concerned about how the grass looks. Here’s hoping for more green in our future 🙂

  4. I’m glad to hear that others feel similarly overwhelmed at times. It’s not that I don’t want to do what I’m doing, I do. It’s that I want to do everything I’m doing, right now!

    And not wait on nature to help me out!

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